The Sad Reality

It was the usual “fight.” The difference today was the tears. Usually I was met with defiance and some aggression. Today the weapon of choice was tears. I guess when defiance didn’t work, and aggression didn’t work, and the sad reality is that [the student] truly isn’t ready to learn, what’s left was tears.

The Player(s)

Imagine a pure-looking very early elementary student. [the student] always comes to school clean. [the student]’s clothes are always clean. So, from a distance, things look like this will be one of the easier students to deal with. Up close, however, when you can see the eyes, there’s a glint in there. It’s that glint that makes a teacher sit up and take notice.

The Sequence

It had become normal, almost mundane, even though we’re close to the beginning of the year. [the student] not wanting to get work done was going through the cycle: stare off into space for a few minutes, chat with the student on the left, bother the student on the right, get up to get a tissue, get up to use the restroom, repeat.

We were still in August. I was still trying things in my tool kit to try to get [the student] to settle down to work at something. We had talked during small groups. I was trying to incorporate things [the student] indicated enjoying, or had opinions about, or just reacted to. There wasn’t a lot of success at that time to make anything seem like it would reach [the student].

The Denouement

So I was pleasantly surprised when, about 3 weeks after the start of the school year, records arrived from [the student]’s prior school. I’d had a little time to try to get to know [the student], had formed some opinions of my own, and was now looking forward to trying to find out some good information from last year’s teachers.

My pleasure at receiving the information was very short-lived. The information that the school received was replete with information regarding how [the student] and [the student]’s parent had been physically and, in [the student]’s case sexually abused. [the student] and parent had fled where they had been to try to find some safety in a new town and new school. With whom [the student] and parent had landed was not much of an improvement.

The net result: I had a front-row seat to the perpetuation of the abuse cycle. I did what I could, but, knowing what life was like at home, my primary concern was ensuring [the student]’s safety and well-being at school. Sometimes that’s the most important thing a teacher can do.

The Moral

A sad reality: learning often cannot occur when a child isn’t safe at home.